Having a spouse who gets the creative condition can not only allow you the time to hone your craft, but can even accelerate your mastery.
Whether he or she simply yields or trades their time for your work, the most compelling reason to create more rapidly and copiously is that they take an active role in your process.
The Creative Condition vs. Relationships
'Take out the trash!' 'What? I can't hear you!'
Traditionally, artists and writers have found it hard to live with the creative condition, and still have enough time and energy to be someone who another person would want to be around.
Sometimes being nice is hard.
But when you have an understanding spouse or (better yet) one who also has the creative condition, dealing with your relationship is much easier.
Having a wife who is also an author creates three situations that push my creativity through the roof:
- Give and Take – Balance is one of the biggest keys in life, and being in a relationship is no different. When it comes time to sit down and write, my wife gives me the time to do so without hassle. It is understood that when one of us has the sudden urge, or that creative spark, that the other be willing to handle whatever needs done in order to nurture that creative energy. When I am home from work, and the kids are awake, if my wife needs some time to record her ideas, it is a no-brainer for me. I am more than happy to entertain the children, clean up around the house, or fold some laundry so that she can have some time to herself.
- Impetus – I often find myself chasing that elusive dragon of creativity into the deepest recesses of my own personal procrastination wasteland. Sadly, it takes much effort to brush myself off and get started again once I have gone down that road. But an interesting thing happens when my wife starts writing: I seem to have the strong urge to join her in this creative pursuit. Maybe this is one of the many areas where our souls intertwine, or maybe it is the less romantic notion of jealousy–whatever the case may be, seeing my wife accomplishing her writing goals gives me a good, swift kick in the pants to jump back on that horse.
- The Muse – Have you ever known one person who, with every waking breath, personified the creative spirit in yourself? If so, then you are among the lucky few who can claim this highest of all discoveries in life. For me, my wife is that personification, my very own Calliope.
Simon Vouet must have been a time traveller.
How to Find an Understanding Mate
There is a thriving industry of self-help books, religions and psychiatry which aim to answer this very question. Since I do not have post-grad degree, nor have I published any bestselling self-help books, I am afraid I am going to have to speak only from experience here.
The way that I found my partner in all things was deceptively simple: I stopped trying.
This may sound like the cop-out of all cop-outs, but I assure you this is true. After a series of sour relationships, my mother passed away when I was a senior in high school. This were looking down for me, and I had almost given up on the world.
I started talking to a friend who was away at university via the internet. We met that spring after her semester had ended and she returned home. As cheesy at it may sound, after having gone through a roller coaster of emotions in the past 12 months, I felt like I was not ready to get into a serious relationship.
It was when I let go of some of that emotional baggage that I began to understand the person in front of me, as well as understanding more the person she was looking at.
Suddenly, having given up on life as a normal person did not seem like the path I should have taken. I was given a second chance, whether through an external divine presence, the planets being aligned or some less existential means, I suddenly found myself with the person who I wished to spend the rest of my life.
Just as a particularly hard puzzle or other problem becomes so simple and clear once you take a step back and relax your neurons, this too came without notice.
The best advice I can give you is to relax and take a step back from the active pursuit of an mate who will understand your creative condition.
Have You Found Your Creative Soulmate?
Or maybe you think such a notion is outrageous? Strike up a conversation here in the comments.
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